Puberty and development

emale diverse friends doing stretching exercise in the park - diverse friends warming up before doing group exercise Your child will usually start puberty between nine and 14.

It’s important they learn how to keep their body healthy, make their own choices, and develop healthy habits.

Changes in puberty include:

physical growth and development
changes to their brain and the way they think
social and emotional changes.

Let your child know the changes they're going through are normal. Your child might be feeling more self-conscious than they did before. Encourage them to talk about any worries especially those young people who are questioning their gender identity. Clear communication between you and your teen can help you both feel happier, more connected, and more confident when you have to have tricky conversations. Visit our understanding your teen’s behaviour page or managing feelings page for more support.

Puberty for girls

Girls start to notice changes around the age of 11 on average.

Their breasts start to develop.
They may grow taller.
Body hair grows around the genitals.
They start to sweat more and produce body odour.
Their skin may get oily, which can cause spots.
They might feel more irritable and moodier than usual.
Their hips and thighs will widen.
They may develop new feelings of attraction.
They should start their periods (menstruation) around two years after the first signs of puberty.

Puberty for boys

Boys start to notice changes around the age of 12 on average.

Their penis and testicles grow and the scrotum begins to redden.
They grow taller and more muscular.
Body and facial hair start to grow.
Breasts might swell slightly, temporarily. This is normal, and not the same as having ‘man-boobs’.
Their voice gets deeper, sometimes we refer to this as their voice ‘breaking’.
They will start to sweat more and produce body odour.
Their skin may get oily, which can cause spots.
They might feel more irritable or moodier than usual.
New feelings of attraction may begin.
Their penis will sometimes be erect, and this can happen without warning, sometimes because of sexual feelings but sometimes for no reason at all.

Families who might need further support

If your child has additional needs, they might need extra support as they go through puberty, and in gaining independence. See the page on Sex education - a guide for parents from the National Autistic Society for more information and support.

Autistic young people often need more time to understand and prepare for changes and this is especially important when dealing with the physical and emotional changes that come with menstruation (having periods).

In the guide to supporting autistic young people to manage their periods, parents, carers and autistic young people share some tips and advice about how to ensure that you are doing all you can to support young people. This guide has been developed by the Parent Carer Voice group, supported by the iThrive and Participation Team within Kent County Council.

Useful resources

Brook has lots of information on puberty and the body, how it changes, and what to expect during puberty.
Check out the booklet Growing Up – What’s It All About, which has useful facts for young people about what to expect.
Families in Kent and Medway can access free online courses including ‘Understanding your teenager’s brain’ to understand what happens to the brain of a child as they go through adolescence and understand some of the behaviours they might be noticing. There is also a course for teenagers themselves. Use the access code Invicta to register for your free account.