Talking to teens about weight

• Be positive, focusing on all the amazing things your child’s body can do.
• Avoid negative comments about your body or theirs, which can have a lasting and harmful effect on their body image, and possibly on their relationship with food.

• Don’t turn weight, mealtimes or physical activity into a battleground.
• Never bribe or punish your teen about anything to do with their weight, food or activity. Feelings of shame or anger can make children feel worse about their weight, leading to comfort eating and further problems.
• Try not to single out one child from the rest of the family as having an issue as this can make them self-conscious. It is much better to make changes to food choices, eating habits or physical activity as a whole family so everyone benefits.

Mixed messages about weight can leave a child feeling confused. As with any other important issue, make sure everyone who cares for your child is on the same page.

Try to find out why they have these feelings. Did someone say something hurtful? Are they feeling self-conscious about how their clothes fit? Did they see something weight-related on TV? Do they find sports difficult, are they always picked last for teams? These issues can be common for children of all sizes. If your teen is being bullied, try to resolve the situation directly and quickly with the school. If your child's weight, eating and activity are normal and age-appropriate, reassure them and don't focus on weight.

 You can ask your GP or school nurse to measure your teen’s height and weight to calculate their Body Mass Index (BMI) to see if they are underweight, overweight or a healthy weight.

Don’t panic or blame yourself. Cheap fast food, increased use of cars, fewer opportunities for to be outdoors and changes in family meal-time habits, has led to many people being overweight, including young people.

Remember that over time, overweight teens will probably ‘grow into’ their weight rather than lose it. Diets may interfere with your child’s growth, and affect their body image and long-term relationship with food. Praise your teen on lifestyle behaviours, such as choosing to play outside rather than staying indoors to play video games.

Older teens who have finished growing are not encouraged to actively lose weight, but to make changes to their eating and lifestyle habits alongside the rest of the family.

Remember that every family is different so be patient and try not to measure your success just on weight loss. As a parent, you are your child’s most important role model and they learn best from you. Start by bringing in lifestyle changes as a family, making it easy for your child to eat well by having healthy food readily available. Get out and about more and they’ll likely follow your lead. Visit our keeping your teen healthy section for more support on healthy eating and keeping active.

Teens should avoid highly restrictive diets which can affect their nutritional status and lead to harmful patterns of ‘yo yo’ dieting where they lose and then regain weight.