It can be hard to watch your child struggle with worries about their weight. Here are some ways to support your child if you're worried these thoughts might be affecting their health and wellbeing.
Don’t be afraid to talk about it
- Explain that people come in all different shapes and sizes, and that you love your child no matter what.
- Take time to listen to and acknowledge your child’s feelings.
- Let your child know that you are there for them and can listen to them without judging their feelings.
- Try asking open ended questions like, “How are you feeling?” or “How are things going at school?” Take time to listen to and acknowledge your child's feelings.
Avoid blame
- Don't panic if you have concerns about your child's weight. It can be helpful to understand the reasons they might be gaining weight without blaming
yourself or your child. Modern life leaves children with fewer opportunities to play outdoors and changes in family mealtime habits are all ways a child might gain weight over time. - Try not to turn weight, mealtimes or physical activity into a battleground.
- Never bribe or punish children about anything to do with their weight, food or activity. Feelings of shame or anger can make children feel worse about their weight, leading to comfort eating and further problems.
Avoid negative comments
- Be positive, focusing on all the amazing things your child’s body can do.
- Avoid negative comments about your body or your child’s body, which can have a lasting and harmful effect on their body image, and possibly on their relationship with food.
Take positive steps for the whole family
- Try not to single out a child from the rest of the family as having an issue as this can make them self-conscious.
- By making lots of small changes, enjoying healthy meals and engaging in physical activities together as a family, you can help your
child to feel supported and the whole family can benefit. - Use mealtimes as a chance to reconnect, have fun and bond as a family.
- Spend time together. Give your child a hug or highlight the behaviour and qualities you are proud of and would like to see more of to support their self-esteem.
- The best way to support your child's health and happiness is for them to know that you're there for them no matter what.
What to do if your child says “I’m so fat”
Try to find out why they have these feelings. Did someone say something hurtful? Are they feeling self-conscious about how their clothes fit? Did they see something weight-related on TV? Do they find sports difficult, are they always picked last for teams? These issues can be common for children of all sizes. If your child is being bullied, try to resolve the situation directly and quickly with the school. If your child's weight, eating and activity are normal and age-appropriate, reassure them and don't focus on weight.
If you think your child is ‘overweight’
Don’t panic or blame yourself. Cheap fast food, increased use of cars, fewer opportunities for children to play outdoors and changes in family meal-time habits, has led to many people being overweight, including children.
Remember that over time, overweight children will probably ‘grow into’ their weight rather than lose it. Diets may interfere with your child’s growth, and affect their body image and long-term relationship with food. Praise your child on lifestyle behaviours, such as choosing to play outside rather than staying indoors to play video games. Remember that every family is different and change happens slowly, so be patient and try not to measure your success just on weight.
Take positive steps
By enjoying healthy meals and engaging in physical activity together as a family, you can help your child to feel supported in making positive, healthy lifestyle changes that can go far beyond weight loss.
Useful resources
- Kent School Health offers one-to-one support based on your child’s unique needs. Visit our special educational needs or neurodivergence pages for more information on the support available for you and your child around healthy lifestyles and growth.
- Healthier Families - To find ways to help you and your family eat better and move more.
- The University of Bath has produced a guide to help parents and caregivers talk with their children about weight in a positive way. It gives tips and advice on what
to say and do to help children be healthy and feel good about their bodies. - Small changes can make a big difference and One You Kent advisors can support you to make the changes that will work for you. So whether you want to quit smoking, lose weight or just generally feel better about life, One You Kent can help.