Constipation is very common in young children, as is soiling themselves unexpectedly.
Parents sometimes struggle to understand why their child is pooing in their pants, especially if the child doesn’t realise they are doing it. Some parents may worry their child may be bullied because they might smell, particularly when it happens at school.
Signs your child may be constipated include:
- if your child holds their poo or wee for a few days or even weeks. When they do, they find the poo is hard and painful to pass, and may cause their bottom to bleed
- runny poo in their pants
- lots of little poos during the day, or a poo that’s so large it blocks the toilet and is smelly, along with smelly wind
- wetting themselves during the day or night because a full bowel can put pressure on the bladder.
Talk to your GP if you child is struggling and they will be able to support you.
How to help your child if they are struggling to go.
Water helps keep poos soft and regular making it easier to pass. Encourage your child to drink six to eight glasses of water regularly throughout the day, and avoid too many glasses of milk. You may need to speak to the class teacher to help encourage your child to drink during the school day.
Fibre also helps keep stools soft and regular. Examples of foods rich in fibre include:
- Weetabix
- Baked beans
- Fruit and vegetables
NHS.uk has lots of tips on healthy diet at Healthy Families
Encourage your child to sit on the toilet around 20 minutes after they’ve eaten. Make sure your child is comfy. Try them out with a toilet insert if they are small, and a footstool to make sure their knees are elevated and their feet are flat. If your child is perching, balancing or holding onto the toilet they may not be relaxed enough to open their bowels.
Getting them to gently rock back and forth is a good way to help them relax and open their bowels. Blowing can also help your child relax. You can use a bubble blower for this, but be careful not to make the bathroom floor slippery. Feathers are useful too and can be found in the craft section at supermarkets.
Help your child get comfy and enjoy their time on the toilet so they’ll sit for longer, maybe leave some books for them to look at. Children may hold onto stools if they don’t like the environment of the bathroom, for example if it’s too cold, or there are spiders or it’s a bit dark.
Stories and apps
Look around for websites and apps that can help with toilet time. With some of them you can incorporate pictures of your own child to personalise the tales. Check out the ‘Poo Goes Home to Pooland’ app, which is designed to help with toilet time and reduce anxiety.
Being active also helps your child with their bowel movements. Encourage plenty of active playtime, joining in wherever possible, to promote healthy bowel activity.
When your child refuses to poo in the toilet
Some children will refuse to use the toilet to open their bowels. Helping them with this can be a slow process. Take a consistent approach. Talk to the school and your family about what’s happening with your child and their toilet habits, and get everyone on board.
Give them lots of praise for trying
Praise is also very important for children. Remember that your child may not be soiling on purpose, so they’ll be doubly pleased to get lots of praise when toilet time goes well.
Families who might need further support
Some children and young people need further support to help them learn how to manage their toileting. Small steps should be acknowledged and celebrated. The earlier you start toilet training, the better for your child.
Kent School Health does not prescribe products, but it does offer one-to-one support to help your child at home or support can also be offered to your child’s school.
Both ERIC and Bladder and Bowel UK have resources that can support you as a parent of a child with additional needs. Bladder and Bowel UK also has information to help your child with sensory issues with toileting training.
Useful resources
- Bladder and Bowel UK offer support for those children and young people with bladder and bowel problems.
- Poo Nurses have resources to help you using Movicol or Cosmocol.