It’s important your child understands the changes they are going through are normal and they learn to keep their body healthy, make their own choices, and develop healthy habits. Clear communication between you and your teen can help you both feel happier, more connected, and more confident when you have to have tricky conversations.
Changes in puberty include:
- physical growth and development
- changes to your child's brain and the way they think
- social and emotional changes.
Girls will start to notice changes around the age of 11:
- Their breasts start to develop.
- They may grow taller.
- Body hair grows around the genitals.
- They start to sweat more and produce body odour.
- Their skin may get oily, which can cause spots.
- They might feel more irritable and moodier than usual.
- Their hips and thighs will widen.
- They may develop new feelings of attraction.
- They should start their periods (menstruation) around two years after the first signs of puberty.
Boys will start to notice changes around the age of 12:
- Their penis and testicles grow and the scrotum begins to redden.
- They grow taller and more muscular.
- Body and facial hair start to grow.
- Breasts might swell slightly, temporarily. This is normal, and not the same as having ‘man-boobs’.
- Their voice gets deeper, sometimes we refer to this as their voice ‘breaking’.
- They will start to sweat more and produce body odour.
- Their skin may get oily, which can cause spots.
- They might feel more irritable or moodier than usual.
- New feelings of attraction may begin.
- Their penis will sometimes be erect, and this can happen without warning, sometimes because of sexual feelings but sometimes for no reason at all.
How can you help?
Let your child know these changes are normal. Your child might be feeling more self-conscious than they did before. Encourage them to talk about any worries especially those young people who are questioning their gender identity. Visit our understanding your child or teen’s behaviour page or managing feelings page for more support.
Support your child to have a good personal hygiene routine. Showering more often and using deodorant will help, and maybe developing a skincare routine if needed.
Families who might need further support
Some young people might need extra support as they go through puberty and gain independence. See the page on Sex education - a guide for parents from the National Autistic Society for more information and support.
Useful resources
- Brook has lots of information on puberty and the body, how it changes, and what to expect during puberty.
- Check out the booklet Growing Up – What’s It All About, which has useful facts for young people about what to expect.
- Families in Kent and Medway can access free online courses including ‘Understanding your teenager’s brain’ to understand what happens to the brain of a child as they go through adolescence and understand some of the behaviours they might be noticing. There is also a course for teenagers themselves. Use the access code Invicta to register for your free account.