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Self-esteem

Portrait of beautiful young girl smilingLife is easier when we have strong self-esteem and are able to think positively about and value ourselves.

What is low self-esteem?

In our childhood, we can get messages that affect our self-esteem from friends, family, school and from TV and social media. Somehow, the feeling that we aren’t good enough is the hardest to get rid of. Personality can also affect self-esteem. Some children will naturally think negatively about themselves, others set high standards that are impossible to reach. Sometimes children just have a feeling that they can’t live up to their own or other people’s expectations.

How can it affect my child?

Dodging difficult situations may give your child a sense of safety to start with, but in the long run it will only encourage their fears and doubts. Avoidance tactics include hiding away from others, swerving tricky situations, and being unwilling to try new things. If your child or young person has high self-esteem, they may tend to focus more on their growth and improvement. With lower self-esteem, a child will focus on trying not to make mistakes in life.

What causes low self-esteem?

Different things can set off a pattern of low self-esteem or lack of confidence including:

  • Physical or mental health problems.
  • An illness or disability.
  • Attacks on identity or being bullied.
  • Being mistreated or abused.
  • Feeling bad about the way we look.
  • Family problems or negative friendships.
  • Academic struggles or pressures.

How to increase self-esteem

  • Encourage your child to learn new skills and have new experiences to help them feel a sense of achievement and pride.
  • Let them know it’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how we learn.
  • Remind them not to give up when things are hard and think of times they’ve succeeded before. Life is not always easy and it’s important to keep trying.
  • Encourage positive self-talk. If they wouldn’t talk to a friend unkindly, why talk to themselves like that?
  • Encourage them to set themselves goals that are achievable.
  • Remind your child that social media does not always show the truth.
  • Support them to eat well, be active, and spend time with friends and family.
  • Remind them to try out things they might enjoy like walking, reading, taking a bubble bath or listening to music.

Families who might need further support

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