Anxieties

Younger children cannot always understand or express their feelings but you might notice they: 

• become tearful, clingy or worried about being apart from a parent or carer
• have trouble sleeping.
• start wetting the bed(opens in new tab)
• have bad dreams
• seek constant reassurance from you
• fear that something bad might happen to a loved one
• refusing to go to school
• headaches, tummy aches or feeling unwell when separation is expected.

Older children might:

• lack confidence to try things or seem unable to face simple, everyday challenges
• find it hard to concentrate
• have angry outbursts
• have issues sleeping or not be eating properly
• have a lot of negative thoughts, or keep thinking that bad things are going to happen
• start avoiding everyday activities, such as seeing friends, or going to school.(opens in new tab)

Your child might tell you they feel sick or have a tummy ache, that their heart is racing or they can’t catch their breath. They might tell you they are scared or have bad feelings.

Encourage your child to talk to you, or another trusted adult about what’s worrying them.

It may help to explain what anxiety is and the physical effects it has on our bodies in an age-appropriate way. You can describe it as being like a wave that builds up and then ebbs away again. Help your child find solutions to their anxiety rather than avoid the situation that is making them anxious.

Other ways to ease anxiety in children:

• Help your child recognise when they feel anxious, to manage it and to ask for help when they need it.
• Children of all ages find routines reassuring, so try to stick to regular daily routines where possible.
• If your child is anxious because of distressing events, such as a bereavement(opens in new tab) or separation, look for books or films that will help them to understand their feelings.
• If you know a change, such as a house move, is coming up, prepare your child by talking to them about what is going to happen and why.
• Try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself.
• Practice ways to calm down(opens in new tab) with your child like mindfulness.(opens in new tab)
• Distraction can be helpful. For younger children, play games like who can spot the most lorries on the way to school. For older children, they can listen to music or do some drawing.
• Older children can download and use the Clear Fear app.(opens in new tab)
• Turn an empty tissue box into a 'worry' box. Get your child to write about or draw their worries and 'post' them into the box. Then you can sort through the box together at the end of the day or week.
• Get them out for walks, along to the park and encourage exercise, like playing football or riding their bike.
• Make sure you are all getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet.

• When your child’s anxiety is strong and stays with them for a while.
• If their worries are out of proportion to the situation.
• When their anxiety appears hard for them to control and is leading to feelings of great distress.
• If they experience panic attacks
• If they find it hard to go about their everyday life or do things they enjoy.
• You can speak to your GP and they may suggest a referral to other services, or you can refer them to the Kent School Health for one-to-one support or counselling.