Around three to four years old, children can recognise being happy, sad, scared or angry and will describe feelings such as being excited. Your child might be scared of imaginary things. They’ll care about how others act and show affection for familiar people. They may want to make a drawing for a friend without being asked. They will get more confident, better at handling their emotions and at times show an understanding of sharing.
Your child may have off days where their behavior is trickier to manage. Sometimes frustration, tiredness, limited ability to express their feelings or events that are going on within the family such as arguing or an absent family member might be affecting them, just as it would an adult.
Difficult behaviour often comes from difficult feelings. Helping your child understand themselves will over time mean they are able to deal with those difficult emotions in a better way. Talk to your child and validate how they are feeling. Give them lots of cuddles and one-to-one time without distractions. What you do has to be right for your child, yourself and the family, you can find some tips at NHS.uk on how to handle difficult behaviour. Speak to your health visitor if you need more support and advice.
Useful resources
- ‘Understanding your child’ courses are here to you develop as a parent as your family grows. These free online courses are available in 15-20-minute chunks, perfect for busy parents and carers. Use the access code Invicta to register for your free account.
- Family links offers some useful tips on giving praise effectively, steps for empathy and time to calm down.
- Family lives gives ideas on understanding and dealing with tantrums, setting boundaries and dealing with aggressive behaviour in toddlers.
- NSPCC provides a useful guide for positive parenting.