Your older toddler’s behaviour

Two-year olds can be challenging which can be tricky to manage especially when you are tired or stressed. Your child wants to be more independent and express themselves but can’t always tell you what they want or understand why the answer may be no to their request. This can lead to frustration, upset and those familiar tantrums or tricky behaviour. Tantrums peak at around two years old. Toddlers and young children often display difficult behaviour when they're tired, hungry, overexcited, frustrated or bored so trying to avoid these situations is helpful.

All toddlers test limits and have tantrums. Your child’s brain is still developing and there’s a limit to how much they’re able to control their emotions. Remember that behaviour in toddlers, which we might have called naughty in the past, is actually quite normal and part of growing up.

Parenting that is warm, compassionate and consistent is more likely to be effective at managing children’s behaviours than “strict” parenting. Staying calm and supporting the child through their difficult feelings is key.

• Explain and name your child’s emotions for them – for example “you seem angry” “I know you’re feeling sad.”
• Encourage your child to discuss their feelings.
• Model appropriate behaviour.
• Share one-to-one time with your child where they can play with you with no distractions.
• Praise behaviours you want to see and ignore the ones you don’t want.

Difficult behaviour often comes from difficult feelings – your child is trying to communicate that they are struggling emotionally with something. Helping them understand themselves will over time mean they are able to deal with those difficult emotions in a better way.

The Kent Health Visiting Team has put together a narrated presentation on tantrums and how to manage this time.